Maybe, like me, you didn’t find “the one” until you were a little older than most.
Maybe you struggled with infertility for years before having a baby or adopting.
Maybe you had a surprise baby after your other children were older.
Whatever the reason, I know. I’m there, too.
Your mom friends who are your age have kids that are much older than yours, possibly even grown. Some may even be grandparents already.
The other moms you know with young children are also much younger than you are.
And it’s hard. It’s hard to know where you fit in as an older mom with a young child. You may kind of feel like everyone passed you by while you were waiting.
You may not be as physically fit as you were in your 20s, which sometimes makes it difficult to keep up with a toddler, preschooler or even grade-schooler. Sitting on the floor to play turns into an aerobic workout to get up. A trip to the park can leave you huffing and puffing and promising yourself that you’ll work out more.
You think about the age you will be when he or she graduates from high school or college. When he or she gets married. When grandchildren finally come along. Will you be young enough to keep up with them when the time comes?
But let me tell you something. There are some wonderful things about being a mom who’s a little older.
First of all, may I remind you God gave you your child at the perfect moment. Not too early. Not too late. That sweetheart was placed in your arms in God’s perfect timing. Don’t ever doubt your ability to do what you do because, obviously, the greatest parent of all thought so much of you that He knew you could do it.
I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. – I Samuel 1: 27-28a (NIV)
You have a wisdom that you didn’t have 20 years ago, or even 10 years ago. With that wisdom, maturity, and experience, there are things about parenthood that you are much more equipped to take on and succeed. And you’re probably much more laid back than you would have been (or were) as a younger mom.
The truth is your friends whose children are older than yours most likely love to be around your younger child. It’s a way for them to remember when theirs were little and recapture that little bit of baby/toddler/preschooler magic. Plus, you can learn from their years of parenting. Their older kids will probably dote on your little one as well. And, hello…babysitters!
And those younger moms who have children your age can both teach you and learn from you. It’s a relationship that can be mutually beneficial because you see motherhood with different eyes. So make those playdates, even if you feel you have nothing in common with that 28-year-old mom. You might be surprised.
As far as the physical effects of being of “advanced maternal age,” as they call it in the medical world, having a young child can actually help keep you young. Maybe you could have kept up better 15 or 20 years ago, but without your little one to keep you on your toes, you would probably be much less active. In some ways, you might actually feel younger now than you did before your child was born.
Our Father is so good to bless us with our children. Don’t get discouraged when you feel left out of all of the other mom groups. You are a part of an amazing, strong, and special sisterhood. And the bottom line is we moms at any age all want the best for our children.
Her children rise up and call her blessed… – Proverbs 31:28a (ESV)
Love in Christ,